Awakening To The Reality of Now

I have tried dilligently to keep a positive and forward thinking attitude. Most days I do very well and remember that Positivity begets Positivity and Negativity attracts just that: Negativity.

I have to admit though--as a very huge chapter in my life closes, I find myself feeling somewhat lost and just a bit frightened. Still, the inner me knows beyond a doubt that all will work out as it should. The sadness that enveloped my heart though was so very hard to bear (and still is)--but I would imagine that in every loss there is a grieving process.

My husband and I (after 25 years of marriage) have signed our divorce papers--ending the long, eventful, roller coaster chapter that was our lives for so very long. The love we always shared is still there--we came to a point that made it impossible for us to move forward in our relationship. Rather than grow to hate one another, we chose to end things as amicably as we could and are very hopeful that we will always remain friends.

Even so, my heart feels a sadness that I never thought I would feel. I carry this ache that dwells deep within. I suppose only time will heal the hurt.

But my greatest ache is wondering if he feels as sad inside, as hurt, as lost as I do and if he will be okay. I pray each day for him to find happiness, for him to be strong and to find someone who will love him, cherish him and be good to him. I pray for him to be healthy and strong and to know that even though we didn't last, somewhere out there is someone who will be his and his alone and who will be so very fortunate to find him.

But then selfishly, I pray too for me to be strong, for me to find a joy with my new life and to always remember to be grateful, to give thanks for the very many blessings that the Universe has bestowed upon me. I know this pain will one day fade into the distance and I will again feel the JOY and HAPPINESS that lives inside of me. We all have to allow time to grieve, to find the strength and stamina and courage to move on.

Sadness will not win. My new NOW is here, but so too am I and as I have discovered in the not too distant past--I HAVE THE POWER to make my life just as I need and want it to be.

GOOD MORNING HOUSE, GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE! GOOD MORNING UNIVERSE AND ANGELS AND SPIRIT GUIDES!!! I LOVE YOU! THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF ANOTHER DAY!!!